2013 a year in review

I know these types of things are silly, but I'm a bit too scatterbrained this holiday season to come up with a clever idea for an end of the year post.  So I'll just fill in a 2013 survey type thing and hope for the best!

What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?

I traveled outside of the country AND moved out of the country.  My times in Japan have been the best parts of my life.  I learned an incredible amount and still feel a hunger for more knowledge.  I will definitely be going back, and wouldn't trade those experiences for anything.  Every day I am reminded of moments from over there, just last night the song I listened to on my way out of the apartment to work came on and I was transported back to Azamino.  Traveling is something I'm no longer afraid to do on my own, and I can't wait to see and do more in the coming years!!

What would you like to have in 2014 that you didn't have in 2013?

Stability.  This past year has been one of constant change, in all aspects of my life.  I've worked 6 different jobs, in 2 countries, made and lost friends, and essentially haven't settled into anything.  While I know plenty of people thrive on a constantly shifting environment, I am not one of them.  It's overwhelming to me, and I have handled it fine but would prefer to just have one job, one living location, and feel a bit settled.  Now that I'm back in the states I'm starting to feel like things are slowing back down, so hopefully this feeling stays for a while.

What date from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory?

My first night in Japan.  I can vividly recall every part of it, the food, the people, the buildings, the feelings.  I met so many wonderful people that night, a few of which I've stayed good friends with, and being surrounded by others just as excited as I was..the excitement was just contagious.  We were all eager to learn about each other and the country, share stories, figure out where we were all from.  It was a perfect beginning to the perfect trip, and I'll remember the welcome and smiles for the rest of my life.

One of the best parts was walking to the izakaya with everyone. I paired off with Rahul from England and we were discussing where we were from and he was ecstatic that I was from Ohio, because he watches Glee and that's all he knows about Ohio.  Listening to all the stories that Andrew had from living in Japan and never getting tired of them, we all constantly asked for more.  On the way back I talked to Tim who it turns out went to that school up North and we had a good time the rest of the trip poking fun at each others school, including singing the fight songs at each other.  It was just such a kind and welcoming group of people, and was exactly what I needed then in my life.

What were your biggest achievements and failures?

I would say that my biggest achievement was listening to myself.  I've always tried to be as genial and forgiving as I can, but this year I decided to just live for myself.  Of course I didn't take it to the extreme and become self-obsessed, but listening to my feelings and wants was a great change to make.  When I was no longer comfortable with anything happening in Japan, I left.  I didn't judge myself for seeming weak, I didn't worry about what other people would think about it, I just knew that I needed to leave so I did.  Even at other times, if people didn't like something about me or that I did, I didn't worry about it nearly as much as I used to.  I just accepted our difference in opinion and moved on.  For me that change was a big personal accomplishment.

Also I finally lost the weight I'd gained while on medication!  It's a silly achievement but it made me feel good :)

As far as failures go, I've had a really good year, haven't made any major mistakes that I'm aware of.  I guess if it was anything it would be focusing on the past.  I lived in the past quite a lot this year, I rehashed conversations from months and months before and had a difficult time putting some things to rest.  Recently I've gotten better about it, I've been planning a lot for the future and trying to ignore the past, but as we all know it can be difficult to do that.

Where did most of your money go?

AIRFARE.  I would travel so much more if it didn't cost an entire months salary just to go across the country, let alone to another country.

Did you fall in love in 2013?

I fell out of love, then in, then out.  Nothing too major, just the usual fluctuations for a single 22 year old. Though I will say, the one I fell in and out of love with this year certainly changed my perception of both myself and of what I expect out of men, in a good way.  And was probably the healthiest relationship I've had so far, even the ending didn't tear me apart and we're still friends..  Future boys, the bar has been set high!!

What was the best book you read?

THE WAY OF KINGS.  If you like fantasy/action then go read it.  Now.  It's more than I can put into words for this post.  The amount of intelligence and creativity required to write that book is staggering, I had to read online discussions from the author to fully grasp it.  The action, the morality conflicts, the surprises...just WOW!  If I ever go back to school for a masters in Anthropology I'm writing my thesis on the cultures of that book...it's overwhelmingly wonderful.

Any definite plans for 2014?

I will be traveling, though I'm not sure where yet.  It's between Japan, England, and Ireland.  Maybe I'll do them all!  Otherwise I don't see anything definite yet.  I'm still up in the air about jobs, if I'll stay in this line of work, if I'll stay in this city or state.  Lots of things I need to figure out for the future.  Maybe I'll get around to figuring it out one day...until then just gotta keep going!

Product Review: MyCalmBeat app

I've never done a review before, let alone a review for an app, but this one blew me away and is something that I think should be shared with more people.  I downloaded the MyCalmBeat app a few days ago after seeing it recommended on the My Brain Solutions (another great recommendation) mobile section.  The premise of the MyCalmBeat app is to actively monitor and alter your breathing in order to calm and center yourself.  And it's free..I like free!

The idea of changing your emotional and physical responses through breathing alone is something many are familiar with, and is commonly used in various types of sports, cognitive therapies, and other activities.  This app gives you a visual of lungs filling and emptying, along with a pitched note at the top and bottom of each breath, and allows you to adjust for how slow you would like to regulate your breathing to.  All you need to do is select how many breaths per minute you'd like to reach as your goal, select how many minutes you will do this for, and begin breathing with the audio cues while inhaling and exhaling along with the visual.  It's that easy!

The app also allows you to record your progression over time if you are working to train yourself, however personally I don't see the need for that.  It's about relaxing, not working towards an end goal.

I was introduced to the idea of using your breathing to change your body's total response during physical therapy following spinal surgery.  Part of the therapy was cognitively working on relaxing all of my muscles in an attempt to ease both pain and stress.  The therapist I worked with used a waist band that was connected to a small machine that did the same thing the MyCalmBeat app does, it had a lung visual and sound to cue your breathing.  Over the years I've continued to use this as an effective way to not only decrease pain, but to handle the anxiety symptoms of PTSD.  I found that just sitting back, closing my eyes, and focusing on deep steady slow breathing went a long way in lowing my heart rate, anxiety, and over all outlook.

Have you tried the app or one similar?  Have any questions?  Download the app and let me know how you like it in the comments!!

Hello Anxiety; Hello America

I am back in Ohio.

I've been home for about 4 days now.  I left Japan on Saturday and arrived the same day in the evening (yay time zones).  So far I have been resting and getting settled.  It was a very sudden departure, and I'm sure it deserves to have some explanation.

The two months that I spent in Japan were amazing.  I was loving work, everyone I met was kind and welcoming, I was making some great friends.  But I wasn't healthy and there was so much stress.  However, that in and of itself wasn't enough for me to leave.  I was determined to stay and kept trying to make plans to get healthier or to reduce the stressors I had.

To make a long story short, there was one instance that essentially was the final straw.  While out with friends from work we joined up with a random group of other foreigners for some karaoke and fun.  Things were going alright, but one guy in the group became very interested in me and refused to take any hints.  I laughed it off and tried to be nice but put my attention only on my friends I was with.  When I left to go to the bathroom he apparently followed me and waited.  He grabbed me and when I had no interest in whatever he was attempting to do he became very angry and violent.  I managed to get away, but to say the least I was shaken.  Anyone who knows me or has read my blog knows about my past history with assault, severe PTSD, and how deeply that affected me.  All of the hard work I had done crashed down, and I was left a mess of anxiety.  Alone.  In a foreign country.  I spent the next few days getting sick from random irrational fear, crying, and generally falling apart.

In the past I have attempted to just shove down my feelings and push on through anxiety, but that always ends up doubling the issue in the end when I can't handle it anymore.  This time I chose to be completely honest with myself, my parents, and my closest friends about this.  The decision was made that I needed to leave and come home to recover, and we were fortunate enough that everything worked out perfectly for me to leave the next day.

I've begun to feel a bit more settled, being home is always the best comfort.  And I will truly miss Japan.  I was so disappointed that my time there came to such an abrupt and horrible end.  However, I need to look after my own well-being before anything else.  I don't regret leaving, and I doubt I ever will, it was a difficult choice that needed to be made.

Now all that's left is to decide what to do now...

Teaching Update..Again

Well it's been a very busy week for this job hunt, lots to report!

I am officially not going to begin work for Interac until March '14 if I continue with them.  I was really disappointed to not be chosen as an alternate, as I was fully prepared to leave in August.  They are my top pick to work for, however I am not sure if I am willing to wait so long.  I could always reapply with them again later though, so we'll see.

Also, MIL has chosen another candidate for their September position.  My current choice was to go with COCO Juku and stick it out for a year/leave early and then join Interac in March...or apply elsewhere.

With that in mind, I have applied to around 10 other positions in the past day! Have yet to hear back of course, but if I do then I could have plenty more interviews to discuss and hopefully leave for Japan soon!  Will keep updating as things change.

じゃね！

Teaching in Japan Update

Time to share some news!!

I have been offered employment by 3 companies!

Backing up to share how this all happened, I have started applying to eikaiwa's in hopes of getting a start date sooner than the March '14 date that Interac has set for me.  There haven't been any alternate start dates available from them, and waiting 8+ months is going to test my patience a bit too much.  They are still my 1st pick and back up, however if I can get a position that starts sooner and possibly only be 6 months then that would be perfect to hope me over until Interac.

About 2 weeks ago I applied to COCO Juku, Jibun Mirai, and MIL Language School.  They all accepted my application and I had a Skype interview with them.  And thanks to me forgetting the time zone issue (DUH!) I scheduled them all back to back in one night.  However, they all went well and I have so far been offered employment by Jibun and COCO's.

I turned down Jibun simply because they didn't have a location for me before signing and would not offer a 6 month contract.  Their interview was very simple, mostly a lot of talk about past experience, and did not include a sample lesson.  The company seems to have an okay reputation in the online communities, but didn't pay as much as some others.  I let them know that I appreciated the offer but was going with something else and would keep them in mind for the future.

COCO's just offered me a position last night and I have 5 days to consider.  They are owned by the GABA corporation and do not have the most favorable reputation, however I think I could make it work as a learning experience and filler before Interac in March.  They tend to focus on medical terminology for doctors and nurses, so would certainly be fun making lesson plans to demo and learn. I'm thinking playing a game of 'Operation' would be an interesting way to learn:)

Lastly, I haven't heard back from MIL yet.  They are my top pick for an eikaiwa for many reasons.  The salary is pretty decent compared to others.  The 9 locations are all within the same area of Chiba, right on the Keisei line into Tokyo from Narita.  That location would be perfect!  Also, the apartments that they set their teachers up in are huge for Japanese standards.  Their motto is that 'a happy teacher is an effective teacher', and the man I interviewed with said much of the same.  They also have a decent online reputation.

I'm hopeful that I'll be shipping out much earlier than March, so fingers crossed!  I should hear back from Interac about the November alternate positions sometime this week, and will most likely send them an email practically begging for a position..can't hurt since they've already offered me employment, worst they can say is 'no'.  And I'll keep applying as jobs pop up!

So for now、じゃね！

When a window closes...

I GOT THE JOB!!!!

Ok, I just needed to really get that out there before continuing.  I've been uncontainable since I found out this morning that I passed the interviews and will be going to teach!

It took just over a week since my documents were sent to the Tokyo office for them to get back to me.  I received the offer of employment this morning by email.  So far everyone I stayed in contact with from the interview has also been accepted, and having seen everyones demo lessons I'm confident that the rest will hear back once their packets reach the main office.

Currently my start date is in mid March of 2014, however I am also on the alternate list.  If someone were to drop out, another station come up, etc, during the second semester from Oct-Feb then I will possibly be leaving then instead of March.  Regardless of when I leave, I am thrilled to have been accepted and am incredibly anxious to get started :)

It's funny how life works sometimes.  A year ago this was something I had never even considered, or really even known about.  I've spent all 21 years of my life planning that my life would be just like my parents, I would get married right out of college and start working toward my future family.  God closed that window for me.  But he opened the door to an entire country and new way of life!

As my mom said, if he didn't want me to be in Japan then he would set up road-blocks to let me know.  Yet everything has progressed smoothly.  I fell in love with the country during my visit, am having a remarkably easy time learning the language, and this job process has been very simple with no problems.  And to make it even better, the people that I know there and the ones I will be doing my training in Tokyo with are incredibly nice and wonderful!  Cannot wait for this group of midwestern gaijin to take on Tokyo together before we head to our assignments!!

However, now I have about 9 months to wait....so hopefully I'll be doing some more travelling and taking a real Japanese course to supplement my self-teaching! 

Still full of energy and excitement :) it's a day for celebration!!!

interac interview pt. 2

Well, tomorrow is the big day of my final interview with Interac!!  I've been waiting somewhat patiently this past month getting things together, I can't believe the day is finally here!

The final interview consists of several parts.  First we will have an information session that will cover everything we need to know about moving to Japan, getting paperwork together, info about the company, and of course more info about the job.  After that we have one-on-one interviews with our recruiter.  My recruiter is a woman, she seemed very kind and outgoing on the phone when I talked with her.  Having a bubbly person doing the interview will definitely help push away any shyness that I have!

After that we begin the part that I've been preparing the most for, the video-taped interview.  I will be introducing myself in both English and Japanese, reading from a script to record my pronunciation, providing an Elementary level warm-up, and finally a high school lesson on directions!! Whew!

Thankfully I had a friend look over my introduction and correct my poor attempt at grammar (not my thing in any language) so I've had several weeks to practice it.  I'm confident that everything will be said correctly!  I've been reciting it to myself a lot at work, so I'm sure my co-workers think I am mildly insane by this point.  Essentially I am sharing my name, college education, a few things I like to do, and thanking them for their time.

For the warm-up I plan to do the fantastic song 'Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes'.  I had wanted to do the penguin dance from marching band just for fun, but figured that the words would be more than a 3rd grader could handle.

Then there is my demo high school lesson on directions.  Here is my poster-board representing the worksheets I will have handed out to the imaginary students.

Essentially I will be walking my students through a practice game and having them demonstrate for me.  And no, there will be no actual students.  Just me, the interviewer, and the video camera.  As one person so perfectly put it... "If you don't leave the video taped lessons feeling like you made a complete fool of yourself, then you did something wrong".

I'm completely prepared for tomorrow.  Visa paperwork has been in for a few weeks, references have been contacted, business suit was bought and steamed, nails are done, hair will be done soon....now I just have to anxiously wait until tomorrow!!

Wish me luck!  I'll be sure to post an update once I am home from the interview.  If things go smoothly then I'll be full of confidence and waiting on the call to tell me when I'm leaving for Japan :)

-- UPDATE --

Just got home from the interview, and I am so relieved!!!  It was an all day even running from 9am until 6pm, however now the real waiting game begins.

I will find out if I've been accepted in around 3-4 weeks.  However, the interviewer let me know that I was one of the few who would be ready and willing to leave ASAP, and that there are positions opening up here in June/July instead of August or later.  Also, she was asking me specifically if I would be comfortable working with special needs students.  I wasn't able to ask the others who were there for interviews as well if they received that question, however they didn't mention it when they came out, so I'm wondering if she seems me as a fit for something along those lines...

My demo lesson went really smoothly, and thankfully we were able to help each other out by being each others 'classroom' so we weren't talking to imaginary people.  It was so nice to be able to talk to others who are going through this process.  We were able to go get lunch together before the one-on-one interviews and share our Japan stories with each other.  Had such a fun and rewarding day!

I will keep everyone updated on whether or not I get offered the position, but I am certainly happy with how things went today so chances are looking good!!

じゃね！！！

ヤフー！！Fantastic News!!

I've been selected as a final candidate!!  Got the email this afternoon that they would like to interview me in person when they are in Columbus!!!

And now...I just have to wait another month.  However, there is plenty to do in that month!  I'll have a huge amount of paperwork and such to fill out and submit, references to collect, calls to make with my recruiter to set things up, and a lesson plan to make.  Going to be packed!  I'm not as nervous for this last part, I'm far better in person than I am over the phone, so if I made it through that then I am sure to do fine later.

During this last section I'll be having a conversation with my recruiter in person, attending an information session, and giving a short presentation of a personal introduction (English and Japanese) as well as a demo-lesson.  That last part will be video taped and sent to the Japan office where they make final selections.

I'm hoping that my preference for being within a 1 hr train ride from Tokyo will work out, but if not I will literally work anywhere they want me to.  I just want to be back!  My draw to Tokyo is based more on knowing a few people who live there and less on the city itself.  Don't get me wrong, I loved Tokyo, but being able to maybe visit the only two people I know in the country would be a huge relief to any loneliness I'll encounter.

Ah I'm just so excited!!  My mom and I have been celebrating all evening, calling friends and family to tell them the good news!  Only my grandmother voiced some concern about my decision...she's wondering who will make the dressing and fudge during the holidays while I'm away!!!

I'll have plenty more to add later once I really sit down and look over the materials.  I let myself spend this evening relaxing from all the anxiety and just skimmed the info in the email.  Plus, now that I have hiragana and katakana under my belt, I'm even more prepared!  (Nervousness made me focused on learning that incredibly fast)

So for now, じゃね！！

interac interview pt. 1

I just under an hour I have the first part of my interview with Interac.  It's a phone interview, that supposedly isn't tough, but I'm still incredibly nervous and excited!

For a long time I've considered going into teaching, and have playing around with the idea of getting my masters so that I could teach.  However, I ultimately decided that that wasn't for me, and settled into the idea of finding a different type of position.  When I started more in depth research on Japan for my recent trip I began reading blogs and watching vlogs of people who have gone to Japan to teach english.  And they DIDN'T need a teaching degree to do this!  I instantly felt so drawn towards the opportunity to go abroad and teach, that I sent out an application.  That application was more of a whim than anything, but the next day I got the call that they were interested in me.....that was sign #1.

After my whirlwind trip around Japan I was even more set on landing a teaching position.  Having talked with a former english teacher from the company I am interviewing with (Interac), I knew I was qualified and had the right mindset.  The company called me once I was back in the states to set up the first part of the interview, and now here I am!

This part is over the phone, they draw candidates from all over America, so this is the best way to weed out a few people.  If I make it through this stage then I'll go on to the in person interviews.  Most companies that hire teachers like this do their in person interviews in major cities (Chicago, New York, Toronto) so that they can have all of the interviewees come in at one time.  However, they for some reason chose Columbus, OH as a city this year......that is sign #2.

I've been a complete mess of nerves and excitement all weekend waiting for this call!  Haven't really eaten anything from the nerves!  I'll post an update on this as soon as the call is over :) Wish me luck!!

-- UPDATE --

Finished up my phone interview!! I think it went well, had all of the answers I could prepare for ready to go.  The guy doing my interview seemed happy with my responses and went ahead and gave me the date and time for the big in person interview, but I won't know if I'm selected until later this week.

So......anywhere from 1-5 days to find that out.  Now I have to wait.  This will be torture, but so worth it!!  I'm confident I made it to the next step :)

happy easter from the withrows!

i can't stop listening/watching to this

One of the things I took home with me from the recent Japan trip was a deep deep love for J-pop.  In particular, for KyaryPamyuPamyu (singer of this song)!! Her videos are classic Japanese crazy, and just..too fantastic for words! (Hint: don't take this video seriously, it's supposed to be silly and funny)

if you don't think she is adorable then you have no soul

Me: An Update

I feel the need to get some thoughts off my chest.  Nothing earth shattering, but having a place to vent where maybe a few people will read it..or won't..always feels good.  Public statements feel good to me.  I'll number my topics, for my own organization, not because I'm making an actual list.

1. I'm a much better person than I give myself credit for
Seriously, I am.  And yes, it's a somewhat selfish statement, but you know what, I think a little bit of selfishness and pride is ok.  Having self-pride is what keeps us all from caving into depression and self loathing, and until recently I've struggled immensely with that.

Here's a list of things people have actually spoken to me and/or said about me:
- You should just go kill yourself.
- The world would be better if you died.
- You're only good for being a bitch to people.
- Your plane should have crashed on the way back from Japan.
- You should go back to Japan, no one here cares about you.

Isn't that a nice list.  And that's just what I can think off the top of my head.  I've been hearing that, and similar, since around 6th grade, and was bullied in other ways since kindergarten.  So I've come to this conclusion, I deserve to feel prideful for a little while.  Now I'm not overly prideful by any means, I'm well aware of my short comings, but it's nice to like myself for a change.  And it's only been recently that I've been having a flood of positive things said to me.

Here's a list of things people have said to me in the past few months:
- You're outgoing.
- You're one of the most understanding and considerate people I've ever met.
- You're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.
- You're wise beyond your years.
- Your self-awareness is inspiring.
- You are strong.
- I'm proud of you.

I never knew how much I craved kind words from others.  Of course, my family has always told me positive things, but it means something a little different when people who have no vested interest in your mental well being tell you positive things like that.  So yea, I've been feeling pretty awesome about myself lately, and I like it!

2. I don't know what to do with my life
This isn't a good or bad thing really.  I'm just stuck in what I want to do, and I'm not pressuring myself too much to figure that out by tonight.  My trip to Japan certainly validated my desire to move there and teach for a year or two, but that won't happen for a little while longer due to the long interview process.  And at the same time, my dream of being married and happy isn't happening right away either, and I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.  There are a LOT of things up in the air for me currently, and at times it's overwhelming, but I'm making sure to give myself room to think.

3. I taught myself hiragana!!
As a part of 'self-care' during my assault training I decided to learn hiragana, one of the Japanese writing systems.  I'm not fast at it yet, but I've mastered all the strokes and am almost perfect at recognizing characters!  To me that's an awesome accomplishment...just need to learn the language now.  It's similar to learning the alphabet but having no idea what words are or what they mean.  Still, it's a start!!

4. I completed sexual assault training
It took 40 hrs of tough learning, but I completed training.  However, I decided to drop out of advocacy during the last day of training, so I am still unsure if that will impact my ability to be a prevention educator.  The volunteer position would have involved being an advocate for survivors of sexual assault in the hospital emergency departments, and as I found during our in-class role play, I am not ready for that.

I've come a long way in my own healing, and just being driven to try and do that type of work shows how ready I felt.  But, it isn't for me right now.  It was an exhausting and draining week.  I redefined many experiences in my life that I had never classified as certain things.  That combined with how triggering things are led me to choose to withdraw from advocacy.

Fortunately the directors and other volunteers were incredibly supportive of that decision.  They all knew how difficult this job can be for anyone, let alone someone who has been through such experiences.  I learned a lot..many things I didn't really imagine..and I feel that I can better help friends who have come to me privately about their own pasts and experiences.  Being on the front lines just isn't for me yet.

And as for the information that we learned...let me just say this.  Ignorance truly is bliss.

5. I'm addicted to Supernatural
and I'm ok with that.  It's perfect.  The.  End.

6. I haven't been to knitting club in over a month
I chose to go to a church-wide Bible study on those nights and I'm torn as to how I feel about it.  The Bible study was great, but at the same time I'm really feeling the effects of being removed from everyone.  It would have been nice to have both, but I guess it's situations like this when you have to pick what's the absolute most important to you...and as important as those girls are, I know that learning more about God and how to be a follower is more important to me.  Good news is the study is over, so this week it's club time!!!

Things that surprised me about japan

1. Everything is detailed

Attention to detail is something that us westerners tend to take for granted.  In Japan it is expected.  As a first-timer to Japan, I was struck by how everything I saw was beautiful.  Even the manhole covers had designs!!

 

Tokyo Manhold Cover

I mean really!  Everywhere you looked there were gorgeous flower arrangements, beautiful architecture on every building and seemingly nothing was left out of an overall plan.  And if I thought that the urban landscape was beautiful, it did not even compare to the natural beauty of gardens!  In the west, we tend to ignore gardens during the 'dead' seasons of late fall and winter.  But in Japan, every season has a beauty, and that is reflected in the way that the gardens are tended.  It was incredible.

Packaging for every single thing was well thought out, and perfectly fit the product and market that it was intended for.  Food from every level of dining was wonderfully presented and delicious.  Everything.  Was.  Perfect.  Or at least, I thought it was!

2. People care about you, or at least are good at faking it

Early one morning when leaving Kanazawa we were standing in the train station doing a bit of last minute errand running, when the manager from the hotel we had just checked out of came running into the station frantically looking for us.  He had a pair of jeans that one of the members of our tour had accidentally left in their room.  And he had been prepared to go onto the platform to look for us to return them.

In the west, that wouldn't happen.  If you are lucky maybe they will call and let you know that they found them.  Typically not.  But in Japan, people genuinely care about doing the best they can...or are very good at faking that they feel that way.

On more than just that occasion I was struck by people's willingness to try and do the best that they could at all times.  During both of my solo train rides to and from the airport I had random people stop and make sure that I knew where I was going (I'm white, so clearly was a foreigner).  

I desperately appreciated the attitude that Japan has towards others.  And I'm certainly not saying that they are the only people who act that way.  However, in general I notice that us here in the west don't do our best at all times, we let our emotions come through into our work, and generally don't try to fake happy when we have customer service jobs.  I appreciated that other people in the world are trying to do their best..it's a lesson I think we could all learn from Japan.

3. Karaoke is tons of fun

I don't sing in front of other people.  The steering wheel of my car is the only one to ever hear me belt out random songs.  In Japan, that changed a little....

Karaoke is SO much fun, seriously!  And before that trip I was definitely the person who would be the strongest against going, but now I can't wait to find people here at home to get a group together and go.  Can't sing?  Doesn't matter, no one is judging you, and chances are they're singing along too.  Know every word to Disney songs?  Perfect, cause everyone else does too and can't wait to join in!!

If you ever get the chance to go karaoke-ing, do it!  You won't regret!!

4. It's every bit as weird as you think; and they think it's weird too

We all know that Japan is a little weird..ok more than a little.  They have an obsession with robots, maids, and all things over-the-top.  But you know what, they think it's weird too!  Want to go to a dinner theater where girls on robot legs battle dinosaurs?  Yea they have it.  Coffee cafe that has living cats wandering around to be petted?  Yep, have that too.  A massive modern museum dedicated in cult-like fashion to instant ramen?  O yes, it's real...

...and it's wonderful

I love quirky weird things, and Japan does not disappoint.  They like it too!  We tailed our tour leader to lunch one day to a restaurant that was French Noir themed, only served curry, had 'eye of the tiger' playing, and had tom & jerry going on black and white tvs.  Made no sense, but was awesome!

Just turn on todays best J-pop music videos and they've got weird down to a science.  Golden Bomber features their drummer in kabuki make-up, KyaryPamyuPamyu is all kinds of 5 yr old cute but is actually 20, and AKB48 is...well...just go watch for yourself.  Japan doesn't take itself too seriously with these kinds of things, and that lends itself to some awesomely crazy stuff!

yokohama & leaving

The following morning a few of us got up early and headed out to the Golden Pavillion to catch it in the morning light for pictures. It was a beautiful way to end our time in Kyoto, the sun was out, the water shining, just absolutely perfect. We then loaded back into a train for a ride into Yokohama for our last evening together. My group headed off for the Ramen Noodle Museum, which yes it IS a real place. Our best way to describe it was that it felt like a fever dream. We weren't fully sure if it was real life everything was so exaggerated and crazy. However, was definitely the way to end a trip to Japan!

We then had a last meal of Chinese food before taking Tyler out for a drink and to all reminisce on the past 2 weeks that we had spent together. There are so many more memories than the ones I've written down and I'm sure ill be blogging about them in the future. The next morning we congregated at the station for some coffee before boarding our trains to go home or to the next stop.

I hated to say goodbye to everyone. I made some amazing friends along the way and while we can of course stay in touch on Facebook, I was really sad to see everyone go. It was two weeks of amazing sights, delicious food, and incredible people. Now we can start planning our InsideVietnam Reunion Tour 2014!!!!

Sayonara Japan!! (for now)

kyoto

And once again I am posting very late...had far too much fun to sit and write anything out!

We got into Kyoto from Kurashiki and quickly dropped off our bags in the ryokan before heading out to Gion district, which once was, and still is, a geisha district. If you have ever read or watched Memoirs of a Geisha, that is the area that the story is based on. And the streets and alleys are just as breathtaking as they are depicted. We were even fortunate enough to see two geisha coming back from classes in their day wear! We wound our way through this area before going to a temple and garden to take pictures and wander a bit. Then we headed back into the shopping area for conveyor belt sushi!! It was such a novelty to be able to do that, and we all ate our fill of fish, fugu, and horse meat. Which yes, was on the sushi belt.

That night we hung out at a small local bar with some friends that Tim had made on his day trip with his parents before we went back to the ryokan and rested up for the next day.

Next day was the final test for the two tour guides in training so we picked one to go with for their tour of Kyoto. I went with the tour to the Inari Shrine which is famous for its thousands of vermillion torii gates. It was breathtaking, and so perfectly situated in nature. We also went to the temple that houses 1001 golden statues of Buddha, which was an intense spiritual experience. I'm not Buddhist, but even so I could understand and feel the power that the temple instilled. We then had a stop for curry before going on a hunting adventure for a little yarn shop for me! And I found my yarn so now I can make a project to remember the trip by!!

That evening we had a last dinner for the Stucka family who were leaving us early and went out for another night of karaoke to celebrate. Our time in Kyoto was brief, but filled with culture and gorgeous surroundings. Wish we could have stayed for weeks more!!

days....I don't remember, too many now!!

We've been having so much fun that I've been too excited and tired to write everything down!!

The morning we left for Hiroshima I chose to sleep in a bit as I was fairly under the weather. I'm glad I did because we had early rain showers, so I stayed nice and dry. A few braved the weather to see the nearby gardens, but reported that the rain made it difficult to see it at its best.

We then boarded a bullet train and headed to Hiroshima! Of all the urban cities we have seen so far this city is my favorite. The people are incredibly kind, everything is nice, and there are lots of things to see. The train ride took up the afternoon so once we checked into the hotel we went out on the town to get the local food, okonomiyaki, which is an 'as you like it' noodle pancake. It was DELICIOUS!!! We then split off and us younger ones went out for karaoke! It was incredibly fun, and we had a great time belting out songs and laughing.

The next morning we could chose one of two destinations, either the Mazda factory museum or the island of Miyajima. I wanted to go to the Mazda factory but am glad I picked Miyajima. This island is home to the massive red torri gate that appears to be floating in the sea during high tide. And the entire island is truly picturesque. We spent the morning and early afternoon wandering a beautiful temple complex in the hills and shopping around the city. Also, they had friendly deer!!

Once back into Hiroshima we were given free reign to view the Peace Park and Museum at our own pace, which was a wise choice as it was a difficult afternoon of learning. Of course we all know that a nuclear bomb was dropped on Hiroshima during WWII, but this museum showed exactly what happened when that bomb hit. I have never felt saddened towards my country before, but at the end of the route through the museum all of us Americans agreed that we felt immensely guilty. The stories of the children who were affected were especially heartbreaking.

On that note, we then had a relaxing evening of some Indian curry and some more wandering about the shopping areas before turning in.

Kurashiki

The next morning we left for Kurashiki and arrived before noon. We mainly used the city as a hub for smaller excursions, and I chose to go with the group to take a bike ride through the countryside. We had a 12 mile ride through the rice fields, small towns, and hillside themes and shrines. It was absolutely beautiful, and I'm really hoping that if I get the teaching position I'm applying for that I am posted to a school out in the country.

We got back into Kurashiki around dinner time and I chose to skip dinner and instead spend the evening to myself and get a very early bed time, as today we are heading to Kyoto!! I wanted to be well rested and ready to go, there is so much to do and see in Kyoto :)

days 5 & 6

Matsumoto & Takayama

Have been having far too much fun to blog these past few days!! Will try and combine two posts into one here. Our next day we were in Matsumoto until about noon so our group went to. The famous Black Crow castle. Surrounded by all of the snow it was a gorgeous setting for the black and white castle and its grounds. Of course, with the snow comes the cold, so we were eager to get back to the hotel and head off for Takayama in a warm bus. The drive there was absolutely gorgeous, as the Japanese Alps were thickly covered in snow.

Once in Takayama we put our things down in the ryokan and headed off through the historic district to visit the local sake breweries! We had a tasting, much like a wine tasting and then proceeded to dinner and hang out for the evening.

The next morning Rahul, Andrew and I headed out to the morning market and looked around. I tried a bite of the local apples and it was hands down the best apple I have ever had in my life! We continued through the area and went to the Showa Museum which is home to antiques from the 50s and 60s. It was a neat little museum and we had fun looking at all of the old things and taking silly pictures.

We then got lunch in a small ramen shop and proceeded to a museum that has a collection of 1/10 scale miniatures of famous temples and buildings of Japan. The craftsmanship that went into creating each miniature was so finely detailed that the pictures I took are almost comparable to the real buildings. Next door we went into the Festival Float Museum to warm up and admire the floats from Takayamas famous festival. That evening we enjoyed dinner at a local speciality restaurant and then had fun watching Japanese videos and movies until late!

Kanazawa

This morning we had a leisurely start and boarded the trains again for a trip into Kanazawa. Still very cold over here, but absolutely gorgeous! After checking in at the hotel we set off for the samurai district and visited a samurai's house. It was beautiful! The gardens especially were amazing and we all took many pictures. Then we went on to the Ninja Temple which was built by a feudal lord who was paranoid of invaders. There were trap doors, pits, and one way screens for hiding and escaping. We then wandered about the shopping malls for a bit until dinner. We tried a cheap local curry place that was AMAZING!!! Japanese curry is one of my favorite foods, so having it be made so well for a good price was great!

Now we're back at the hotel relaxing and preparing for an earlier start to the morning!!

day 4

Nagano & Matsumoto

We woke up extremely early yesterday to go to the Zenkoji Temple for morning chants/ blessings. Our guide for the temple led us about the grounds and described the history of each area and cultural ways of the Buddhist monks and nuns. It was a terribly cold morning but the chill meant that fewer people were there, so it made it much more intimate. To begin the services we all hurriedly lined up inside the temple main gate and kneeled to allow the head monk of the temple to bless us as he entered the grounds. He and his procession were in full garb and even their wooden sandals were beautiful. After they proceeded into the temple we followed and took off our shoes to go down under the altar and touch the 'key to paradise', which is the closest a layman is allowed to be to the Buddha enshrined in the temple. I would describe the key, but we were in total darkness and could see nothing as we wound around the passageways hoping to not fall over or run into a wall.

Then we all went onto the tatami in front of the altars and observed the monks morning rituals. Spine tingling doesn't begin to cover it!!!! The chanting and drums were mesmerizing, and being exhausted from the early morning it was a wonderful lull. Aside from the freezing cold we would have been almost in a trance.

Once they finished the morning rituals we went back to the ryokan to have a traditional breakfast before packing up to go to the SNOW MONKEYS!! We took a bus into the mountains and after a gorgeous hike through the cedar trees in the snow we came to the hot springs where they stay. The macaques were everywhere and in no way afraid of people. Watching them yell at each other and jump and swim in the water was a beautiful nature experience. I took plenty of pictures ;)

Then we had hands down the weirdest experience. A few of us tailed our tour guide to lunch in a classic French noir themed restaurant that served curry, was playing Eye of the Tiger, and had Tom and Jerry cartoons on. It was bizarre! Even the locals there were giggling about the various decorations.

After lunch it was a short train ride to Matsumoto, and we spent the rest of the afternoon wandering the city, talking, and enjoying the time. This city is a gorgeous mix of old and new with many picturesque spots. For dinner we headed to a ramen shop and then out for drinks at a bizarre little bar and then a British pub. Been a good time here!!!

day 3

What a day!! We were able to experience our first bullet train ride to get from Tokyo to Nagano. Was such an efficient and comfortable way to go that distance into the mountains. Here in Nagano we are staying in traditional temple lodgings, and have been running about the ryokan taking pictures of everything imaginable.

Once arriving and settling in we headed out to visit the Zenkoji Temple, which is what the town was developed around. The grounds are sprawling and full of ancient structures and carvings of every type. It was very peaceful, not bustling like the temple in Tokyo. My little crew browsed the street vendors and shops and munched on apple dumplings and ice cream that was buckwheat and green tea flavored. Surprisingly delicious!! I have a million pictures of the grounds and cannot wait to put them up!

After a lunch of soba and wandering those of us who were brave packed into taxis to visit the local onsen, which is a hot spring bath. Now, if you know anything about onsen, you will understand our hesitance....as you MUST enter the baths in the nude and it is public. The baths are separated by sex, but it is traditional to have coed. This one was separate. Our tour leaders are men, so it was up to me to lead the women in the proceedings as there are rules and etiquette to follow. I wish I could just live at a hot spring....it was amazing!!!!! Soaking in the warm water looking at the gorgeous mountain scenery and having casual conversation is officially one of life's greatest pleasures.

After our relaxing bath we got ready for dinner and went to an Italian place that our guide Tyler thought was the best food in town, and it was! The best Italian food I've ever had was in Japan. Rahul and I spent the several hours sharing a bottle of Japanese wine and discussing social issues, which we both agreed on so it was an animated debate that was teaching no one anything. After dinner a few of us wandered the temple at night to enjoy the lights, as there was a festival celebration going on

day 2

Having got in late last night I didn't get a chance to really collect and write down my thoughts from our first full day here. It was such a packed day that I hope I get it all written down and don't leave things out!

We started our day easily with a trip to the Tsukiji Fish Market, which handles massive amounts of the seafood coming into Japan. The market is fully running and tourists are only allowed in once the early morning bartering has been completed. We had breakfast in the outer market at a sushi shop run by one of the best sushi chefs in the market. He was in his 60s and had been a sushi chef since the age of 15!! It was hands down the best sushi I have ever had, or will ever have. We all crowded around the little bar and watched as he prepared our food from fish that had been caught just hours before. It was the perfect start to our time here.

After breakfast we walked single file about the market proper and snapped photos as we walked and tried not to be in the way of the buyers and vendors. There were mountains of fish of every type, bloodied tables and carcasses, and most impressive of all NO FISHY SMELL. The catches were so fresh that there was no typical fish smell as there is near the fish counters in grocery stores. And many of the sellers would get our attention and pose with a catch for us! Most controversial of all we did see two vendors for whale, which was a beautiful color and was only the meat from one whale. Not the massive killings as you read about, but just one of the large population of Mink whales.

After the market we walked to the H Garden and explored the beauty of the whiter foliage. Most trees here hold their green colors during winter and it is traditional to have the gardens look their best during all seasons. In the center of the garden was the tea house where Ulysses S Grant met with a shogun and had tea. We enjoyed a traditional tea ceremony with the frothy bright green matcha tea in a tatami mat room. Was breathtaking to sip tea while looking out the windows at the surrounding beauty.

We then took a river bus to the more 'old town' Asakusa area where we visited the Sensoji Temple. With its massive Thundergate and the huge amount of pilgrims there on pilgrimage it was a bustling experience. The architecture and atmosphere were amazing. We received our fortunes as payment for entering the grounds and proceeded to cleanse our bodies before entering the temple to observe and take photos. The religious atmosphere was humbling and showed the more traditional side of Tokyo.

Having explored the shops and area to grab some ramen lunch we headed to the Harajuku area to visit the Meiji Shrine for the other side of Japan's religion. The grounds are home to types of trees from all over the country and is picturesque. Not the bustling market of the temple, but instead contemplative. We wandered the grounds and took pictures to our hearts content. I got to see 'ema' which are wooden plagues with prayers and thanksgivings written on them. I've had a few moments of confusion, as my name is an actual word here, and people think I'm saying random words instead of my name!!

Then we split off and my crew went to the local Starbucks to rest a bit before venturing into Shibuya. This is where the massive neon and signs are with the largest and busiest crossing. Thousands of people crossing in every direction at once!!! Was a wonderful experience. We wandered into a small restaurant whose name I don't know and had a relaxing dinner of amazing food and beers. After that we found some of the micro-bars and sat and talked for hours before going to the hotel to continue and talk until well past midnight!! Needless to say, we are exhausted this morning.

Today is off to Nagano for soba, the Zenkoji Temple, and SNOW MONKEYS

day 1

I'm never coming back to America.

I've been in Japan a total of 8hrs and I am already in deep love with this country. There hasn't been a single thing that has disappointed me or even been close to a negative. Even getting (feeling) lost on the train was still an amazing experience! There's just so much life and peace here...I wish I could convey it to everyone!!!

I must expand in getting lost on the train, as I'm sure my mother will be anxious upon reading that. I was never 'lost' but just felt lost. I accidentally took the long route instead of the quick route to the hotel from the airport so my 30 min train ride became 2 hrs....but it was awesome!! I got to see the outskirts of Tokyo, all the rice fields, small towns, bamboo groves, and gorgeous architecture. And THAT was my first view of Japan :) Not just instant urban, but the side of Japan that I love learning and reading about. Fortunately, an English teacher was next to me on the train and helped me with the maps once he woke up from his nap, and a very nice Australian man literally knew instantly that I was lost once I got off at my station and got me going to the hotel in no time. Everyone here is nice. Everything is clean. It's unreal.

As for my group there are 11 of us and 2 tour guides. We have Tyler, the main guide, and Andrew who is in training to take over Tyler's job. They've both lived here for years and are incredibly knowledgable. And I think Andrew is enjoying getting to talk to some people who for once know what he means when he references his home of Texas. Our group is mostly older couples or older solo travelers. I'm the youngest and only solo female but have hit it off with the two other younger travelers who have been incredibly welcoming and kind.

We all had dinner at a local izakaya (Japanese pub) which included many dishes of typical bar food. Loved everything I ate and loved the fun carefree conversation even more! After I hit up a convenience store for some tea and a bed time snack, took a relaxing bath, and am sitting in bed letting my hair dry before turning in :)

There is far more to tell than what could fit in a quick blog post, but I must be up early for the Tsukiji Fish Market!! More to come!!

in flight

Here I am, 30,000+ ft in the air and I'm writing my blog post to publish once I land. It's a 13 hr flight from Toronto to the Narita Airport in Tokyo, and right now there are 3 hrs left!! So close!

I regret not bringing my knitting with me, I was trying to save space in my luggage and decided to just sleep and play around on the iPad. However, Air Canada has a pretty awesome movie and tv show selection so I've been enjoying watching a few things. Currently have an episode of Property Brothers playing :) can't live without my Scott brothers!!

The best thing about this flight is that I have an entire row of seats to myself..literally. I paid thousands less for my economy class seats than the premium ones, and yet I guarantee you I have more room than they do!! Been stretched out and took a good nap, easy when you can just put up the arm rests and lay completely flat with all 3 of the complementary pillows!!!

Also, the mid-flight Cup of Noodles Ramen was awesome. I love me some instant ramen, and somehow it tasted even better in the air.

Only downside is that now I have 3 hrs left to go and I'm completely freaking out. I don't feel prepared at all and am incredibly nervous. (Probably should have brought a Valium to take at the beginning of the flight....)

I haven't had a chance to practice my Japanese yet. Which is a funny story actually! Because I had my connection through Toronto, the people aboard this flight assume that I'm Canadian, as they weren't with me on the little prop plane from Columbus. And so they've been speaking to me in French. Broken French with a Japanese accent actually...and it's incredibly strange. I'm one of 3 white people on board. Having lived in Dublin, OH my entire life, this is a first for me. But I feel like I fit right in, I broke open my chopsticks and dug right into my ramen happily slurping away!! The guy across the aisle gave me a satisfied nod that I asked for and could use chopsticks (that's a win in my bookn!!!)

Well, I'll post this once we land and I have wifi again, just had some time to kill and felt like updating :)

taking flight

I have landed in Canada! And it's not too exciting to be honest..feels just like America.

One thing I have felt that is different, is that I've realized just how alone I am right now. On the long walk through the terminal from the farthest gate I felt like saying something to my fellow passengers from Columbus, but I had to stop myself, because they don't know me. I fact, not a single person in this airport knows me. And it's kind of a freeing feeling which I could easily get used to.

How I just have to wait through a short layover and I'll be on my way to Tokyo!!!

I attached a picture of Lake Erie from the plane...not the best but it proves I've actually left the country for the first time in my life :)

1 day to go: packing time!

I have to fit 2 weeks of clothes, toiletries, etc into one carry-on. While technically I don't have to, it is considered rude in Japan to take up large amounts of space on trains, and because I will be traveling by train only I need as small of luggage as possible.

Here's a picture of the dilemma:

 

Thankfully I also have a large tote to put liquids and everything else I can in.  It has been an interesting week of shopping and trying to hunt down certain items.  For example, my medication list from the doctor specifically stated 'Motrin', but I couldn't find a container of Motrin that was small enough to only have a 30 day supply.  Looked high and low for a small bottle of it, but no success for that particular brand.  So, I had the doctor re-write the form to state 'Ibuprofen' so that I could grab the travel size Advil.  Very confusing, very time consuming.

And of course, being a girl, I wanted to look my best while abroad so my mother and I had a fun time running about trying to find a jacket that would match my backpack and later a tote that would match my jacket (thank you Meredith for your help on that!!)

So in conclusion, I leave in less than 24 hrs...and I am completely freaking out.  But it's a good freaking out!  I'm excited, a little nervous, and not too sure that I'm prepared enough for this.  All I know is that this adventure is going to be healing and of course be a blast!!

また後で !! (Later!)

japan trip: final countdown

Well the date is getting closer, I have 16 days left until I'm on a plane heading for Japan!  It's finally beginning to sink in that I'll be exploring another country soon with people I don't know, and it's only making me more excited.

This post will be a run-through of the cities that I'll be visiting along the trip and a little bit about the things my group will be doing there.  Of course, once I'm home I'll have more detailed info and pictures, but this will give you an idea.

TOKYO

Obviously, we will be spending some time in Tokyo, you can't visit Japan without it.  Full of the 'new' side of Japan, this city is going to be a great starting off point.  We'll get to visit the Meiji Shrine, Harajuku, and Sensoji Temple.  Along with the sites will come the food, and I am determined to get a bowl of real ramen as soon as possible!

I had wanted to visit the Studio Ghibli Museum while in Tokyo, however it's a bit out of the city and tickets must be reserved far in advance, so I'll save that jaunt for another time.

NAGANO

If you watched the Winter Olympics in 1998, you'll be familiar with this area.  This prefecture is the home of the Japanese Alps and host to winter sports galore during winter.  However, our group will be exploring the towns and most of all the Zenko-ji Temple, which we will be staying at while in Nagano.  This is one of the highlights that I am looking forward to the most, as we are allowed to join the monks for morning prayers.  I'm not Buddhist, but being able to witness worship in such a serene environment will be awe inspiring.

Also in this area, we will be going to see the Snow Monkeys!  I'm sure you've seen pictures of monkeys soaking in hot springs during snow fall, and this is exactly where we'll be.  Can't wait for the cute photos!
 

MATSUMOTO

We'll have a quick stop in Matsumoto to visit the 'Black Crow' castle and stroll the old merchant district.  I'm hoping there will be others interested in visiting the Woodblock Print Museum that they have there, as I love traditional art.

TAKAYAMA

This traditional market town is going to be a blast from the past!  The remote town was cut off from westernization and has maintained its traditional ways.  The large market in town will give us an opportunity to see artisan wares, try new foods, and enjoy the culture.  Another highlight in Takayama is the Hida No Sato folk village, which is an open air museum of traditional farm houses.  Also, we'll have tastings at the local sake breweries! Kampai!! (Cheers!)

Our time here will be the first traditional inn that we'll be staying in, complete with floor futons, tamami, and a hot spring bath.  With the winter chill, the idea of soaking in a hot spring sounds perfect.

KANAZAWA

This coastal town is home to one of the top gardens in Japan, which won't be in bloom during February, but in typical Japanese style will still be beautiful and calm.  The samurai and geisha districts here are beautifully preserved and, I'm hoping, will offer great photo opportunities

HIROSHIMA

It goes without saying that this city will be a humbling experience.  The Peace Park and Peace Memorial Museum stand as testaments to the atomic bomb that destroyed all but the bones of a few buildings.  However, this city has rebuilt into a vibrant metropolis that has chosen to strive ahead for the future instead of dwelling on the past.

Aside from the museums we will be able to indulge in the local dish and visit the famous Miyajima Island that is home to friendly deer and the vermillion red floating torii gate.  I'm hoping to get a visit arranged to the nearby Mazda factory and see the production line! I'll have a picture of my car on hand to show and thank the workers for their amazing products.  This city trip will be ended with a bar hop!

KURASHIKI

Taking a break from bustling about the city, this charming canal town will be a beautiful place to unwind and slow down.  In warmer weather our group would bike ride through the countryside and view temples, Buddhist cemeteries, and rice fields.  During winter, a hot green tea along the canal and art galleries are more likely.

KYOTO

CULTUREALERT.  Having been spared from most bombings during WWII, Kyoto is the cultural hub of the country.  With hundreds of shrines and temples, this city will have more culture than I will know what to do with!  I have an entire book dedicated to this gorgeous city, and haven't picked out what I want to do here yet, there are just so many options.  One thing I do know however, is that I would like to look around the Gyon district, home of the geisha.  If you've seen Memoirs of a Geisha then this is the city that the story is based in.

YOKOHAMA

Second city to Tokyo our tour will end here.  Waterfront views along with the Ramen Noodle Museum and Chinatown will be a fun and beautiful end to the journey.

Having typed out all that we'll be doing, I'm finally seeing just how much I'm going to be able to pack into the 14 day trip!  So many cities and towns to explore, so much food to enjoy, and opportunities for adventure everywhere.  Now I just have to wait 16 more days......

Deuteronomy 22:25-27 -- What God Says about Rape

In light of the recent spotlight on rape culture in the world, I felt it only right that I give my opinion on the topic.  I had originally written a lengthy disjointed rant that ended in calling for Hell to open up and cast fire upon everything..but I felt that may be a bit too harsh and emotion-fueled.

Instead, I did some research on what the Bible says on the topic of rape and how that should be interpreted.  I had attempted some of the same research previously, but never got very far before I became overwhelmed and stopped.  What I've found is vindicating, and certainly shows just how perfect our God is.

Deuteronomy 22:25-27 -
²⁵ But if out in the country a man happens to meet a young woman pledged to be married and rapes her, only the man who has done this shall die. ²⁶ Do nothing to the woman; she has committed no sin deserving death. This case is like that of someone who attacks and murders a neighbor, ²⁷ for the man found the young woman out in the country, and though the betrothed woman screamed, there was no one to rescue her.

At first glace that passage seems very straightforward.  God commands his people to purge themselves of evil among them, and rapists certainly fit into the 'evil' category.  However, if you have done any Biblical reading you will of course note that in this instance there is no mercy.  Read passages on other sins and in most cases (especially in the New Testament) God has a mericful view of those who commit a sin.  But in this instance? No, no mercy.

One sentence that stands out for me: "This case is like that of someone who attacks and murders a neighbor."

God views rape the same as he does murder.  There is no room for interpretation here, he spells that out right there for everyone to understand.  For me this is a case of deja vu, I had said in a previous post that I viewed rape as the same as murder...and apparently God does too.  You do this, you should die.  End of story.  I'm just going to go ahead and say how much of a badass God is.  And I'm proud that I'm on the same page as him.

Another interesting point to make, no where else in the Bible is rape mentioned in this manner.  It's mentioned as happening, with armies pillaging and raping cities that they conquer, but it is never discussed again.  Even in the New Testament when many of the old laws were discussed and changed around after the death of Christ, this one remains the same.  God only felt it necessary to tell us this once, because there is no re-interpretation for this.  There is no change in how it should be viewed.

Now before I end this post, I will go ahead and attempt to tackle the next verse in that passage.

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 -
28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay her father fifty shekels[a] of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.

THIS DOES NOT MEAN WHAT YOU THINK.

Take into context the culture of the time that this was written.  There had been no feminist movement, women were mostly viewed as being there for breeding.  If a woman were 'unclean' or not seen as anything but a virgin, then she would live in poverty for she could not survive without a husband or male relative to care for her.  And leave it to rape culture to give us victim blaming and the blind belief that a raped woman is a disgraced woman.  That was the same then as it is now.  The passage simply gives a way for a victim to be ensured care for the rest of her life.  It does not mention the fact that at the time a woman's father would have to consent to her marriage, therefore she may not have to marry her rapist.  God was setting up a way for her to be taken care of instead of having to suffer more as a social outcast.  I will again repeat, that it does not mean she would have to go be her rapists 'wife' in the typical sense, but that he will have to provide for her and any children that would come from that assault.

------

I have no problem admitting that my trust in God was shaken from my own experience.  It's difficult to handle that the one who is supposed to look out for you failed at the time when you needed it most.  But having read that passage I do have a sense of peace knowing that my plight was not ignored.  God will handle it, just as he does murderers.  I just have to keep trusting.