what i've learned about myself

now that i've been a college graduate for a few months i've been reflecting on who i am and what i'm all about. and while i haven't discovered anything life changing, i have noticed some changes in myself that are pretty awesome and have really begun to understand some things. so here's my short list of reflections:

1. school really was never my thing

not that it was too difficult, but more that the environment wasn't. i never noticed how stressed out school made me until i graduated. i always thought that i felt normal, but now that i'm stress-free it's ridiculous to look back and see how weighed down i was!! the deadlines, grades, peer work, it all stressed me out far too much.

don't get me wrong, i LOVE learning, but the school setting was against the type of environment my personality needs. school was absolutely necessary and i'd never consider it a waste or something i wouldn't do again.....but i'm glad it's over and i can relax :)

2. i'm a very weird person

i always knew i was a little weird, been bullied enough for it, but i've really come to appreciate it recently. i can go from a Top Gear marathon to House Hunters and then end it all with Ghost Adventures...all while knitting. not many 21 yr old girls would do that.

but my weirdness is awesome. seriously, it is! my friends don't mind it and even join in some of it with me. they appreciate me for who i am and having people who are weird just like you is one of life's biggest blessings

3. i'm overly ambitious

recent example: i decided to learn lace knitting and then decided to throw on learning to bead while doing the lace. if you have seen this project you know i've already restarted it 5 times. why on earth did I decide to learn two difficult things at once??

I do that with everything..but it tends to work out just fine in the end. thankfully i have friends and family to reign me back in sometimes. although, going overboard and deciding to finish school a year early by cramming two years into one was one of my better ambitious moves...stressful...but an amazing decision.

4. i'm no longer a push-over

in high school and most of college i tried to be the 'bigger person' by ignoring things and trying to move on. that got me absolutely no where but making the problems worse. now I can look back and realize that keeping my mouth shut wasn't the best move when someone tells me to go kill myself because i'm a worthless whore....for literally no rational reason.

at this point, i don't mind speaking up and making my feelings and wishes known. when people come after me, I rise up to the challenge and face it instead of ignoring and hoping it goes away. because let's be honest, the people who bully others aren't deterred when people keep quiet, it encourages them because they know they can say anything they want and no one will tell them no.

yea, not doing that anymore. mess with me and i'll shut it down really fast.

5. my family is my life

that speaks for itself. and yes, my cats are included in my family..deal with it