hello welcome to movie phone!!!

I have often said that my life is like a Seinfeld episode.  For those who don't like the show or haven't seen much of it, the joke is probably lost on you.  Suffice it to say that the situations I often find myself in are...interesting...to say the least.  And they aren't spectacular situations, often very mundane, but the things happening in them are so extraordinary as to be scripted.

I've recently been struggling with choosing what to do with my life.  I'm 22 years old, have yet to find a full time real world job that I enjoy, am single, and live with my parents.  I built my life around one idea, which then fell apart, and now I've found myself sitting and wondering what I am supposed to do.  The big plan to move and start over fell apart but made me want to go back and try again.  And as often as people say 'trust in God, he'll put you where you should be', I honestly see nothing in the way of divine intervention.  Or even a road sign here or there!!

So to tie this thought in with my Seinfeld life, I present to you the scene that explains my current predicament perfectly.  It's short, so please watch

Emma translation: "Why don't you just TELL me what you'd like me to do??!!"

If I could pray one thing it would be that.  I'm trying to figure out what the purpose for my life is, and the other end is giving me messages that conflict and essentially tell me nothing.  Should I go back to teaching in Japan?  What about my love for anthropology?  Would graduate school be a good idea?  What would I even study if I went back?  Should I just accept defeat and stay in a job where I'm dissatisfied in every single way?

I meet and see so many others in my generation who have goals and plans, and are making concrete movements toward achieving those.  People who can afford to move out of their parents house because they have an actual job that pays an actual salary.  People who are getting engaged and married left and right.  I try my hardest not to compare myself to others, but over time that nagging in my head of 'look how poorly you are doing and how great they're doing' pops up more and more frequently recently.

I guess I should look at the positives and all the things I'm thankful for.  This past year I've certainly grown more than I expected, I not only visited, but moved to, another country alone, I got off anxiety medication for good, I lost the weight from said medication, I finally started standing up for myself and placing myself first when appropriate...there's a TON that's gone well and will continue to go well...I guess I'm just experiencing my quarter-life crisis...and it's by no means pleasant.